Time Between

We completed the first Basic workshops on Thursday. I rocked an exercise which, I'm told, is difficult on emotional triggers. Some of the youth went really deep and shared about domestic violence in their families, about coming out of war, about diaspora and exile. It was good... and thirty minutes before the exercise I briefly thought I didn't know what I was doing.

I was recounting the story of a co-worker who got a birthday card from our company owner (years ago) that was unfinished. "Sam, You're a great employee and I think you have a lot of" - and the card cut off right there, thought unfinished. Hilarious, no? This is exactly what happened on my affirmation/goodbye poster from the first workshop. "You are very" and that's it, not even a name.

Today we went to the Dead Sea. I went, I floated... and I looked out across the water, and was quite satisfied to stay exactly where I was and just be.

Yesterday was my market day. I went to the swanky outdoor Friday market and loved it. I found this beautiful line drawing of the old city of Jerusalem drawn in the 50's (I think) by the vendor's father. He gave me a British Mandate Palestinian coin. I talked with anarchist activist poets who were, if nothing else, amusing. I enjoyed the artwork. I avoided the Barney music in the children's play area.

I've been thinking about how 'socially conscious' tourism can be a dis-service and exploitive. It's shown up in several ways recently. Tonight, when our AVP group met with Direct Aid Iraq folks, some questions were raised and debated on the benefits and problems of white folks and westerners coming and seeing what's going on, and then leaving. There's this huge expense of getting to a place, we have people show us their lives, their problems, and then we leave and forget about it. Joe Sacco does some great things about this "yeah! show me your trauma, show me your scars!" stuff that happens in Palestine. I see this hang-up on understanding suffering as if there's nothing else that happens a lot. And, even in the worst situations, the worst conditions, it's not all suffering and desperation. There's a range, there's complexity. Not everyone is poor in a 'poor country' and if I fixate on 'these poor people over there who are suffering' then I'm not really connecting with folks as people or connecting with the richness or diversity of experience where I am. (I won't even get into the stuff around calling folks resilient right now.) For now, I'm going to stick with not 'coming to see' but coming to work alongside and learn with people.

Final thoughts of gratitude: I get to learn from some incredible people here and get to know them. I have ginger root and aloe juice. I have gratitude and space for rest.